"The Freedom Thief"-Concluding Part

As i was walking towards my destination (though i wasn't sure whether i'd reach there or not!!) , again some erratic images started coming to my mind randomly; those images which until a few hours before comprised the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle which i was forced to put together in order to survive; those images of conformity towards the dogmas that surronded me forming a vicious circle; those images which tried to extirpate the very meaning of freedom from my mind. And these images operated on a terror mechanism, the mechanism of fear. All i used to do at that point of time and all what others did operated on the same mechanism, a silent fear lurking behind each a nd every one of us; the fear that made each and every one of us perfect citizens, perfect devotees, perfect administrators and everythng that was perfect.

I went to a place of worship because of the fear of hell. I condoned the errors of the state because of the fear of jail. I did not fall in love with a girl of another religion because of the fear of being thrown out as an outsider. I beahved in those umpteen no of ways in which people were supposed to behave because i feared the consequences that might otherwise storm upon me. And my slavery came exactly from this and my nonchalant,unreflective days. The fear of not doing what others wanted me to do....

I was trying to define freedom.Was it the freedom of land??or the freedom to think?is it the freedom to do what u want or live the way u want to live?is it the freedom from desires and ambitions?? And then i saw the sky brightened by the light of those luminous free souls who walked before me to the freedom tree and they silently whispered-"freedom is to be free from fear;freedom is to conquer fear; freedom is to kill fear"..laconic but yet so profound. And before my eyes were the beautiful frames of deep happiness and contend of my forefathers when they discovered limitless freedom that was beyond any demarcations.

I saw the deep pain which Eve endured before giving birth to Cain and the unexplainable happiness when she for the first time saw his tightly clasped fingers; I saw the great agony and unparallelled faith of Abraham when he was asked to sacrifice his only son and I also saw the profound gratitude and joy when he found a substitute lamb in the shrubs; I saw the fear in the eyes of Moses when he was asked to command and guide the men of Yahweh to the promised land and I also saw his glowing face when he saw Israel from mount Aabu; I saw Daniel conquering his fear and entering into the fire with a smile so innocent; I saw Jonah defeating his fear inside the stomach of the blue whale and I also saw him rising up with a new zest and new vision. And I saw the warrior Arjuna afraid and apprehensive before the great war and Krishna talking to him; and I also saw the smile on Krishna's face when he asked the more confused Arjuna to renounce everything and reach unto him. I saw Freedom..

I had reached the freedom tree..Without a second thought I climbed the tree briskly and stretched my hand towards a ripe freedom fruit. This time I saw the sadness in the eyes of Adam when he was banished from the paradise for ever and I also saw the blessed paradise he entered when he for the first time saw the rains, when he for the first time tilled, sowed and harvested, when he for the first time kissed his wife and felt her warmth beside him. I saw the eternal paradise...Life...

Without hesitation I plucked the freedom fruit and started to eat and somewhere near the horizon I heard people violently yelling out.."Freedom Thief..."

"The Freedom Thief"

I used to live in a place where almost everyone at that point of time lived and are still living and i must say that nothing much has changed in the world from the 'that point of time' to the present when i am standing in the shade of this tree.I dont kno whether its the cool shade of the tree spread over a large diameter or the fuits on it that is making me reflect on my life.Everything was quite normal. Happy people were happy and sad people were sad.All of them drank,ate,did some jobs,slept and so did I,and I belonged to the 'supposedly' happy league. I had and still have a job,an apartment,friends,the same newspapers thet everyone used to read,the 76 soporific channels and everything that'd make a banal and innocuous life perfect.I was connected..but quite unfortunately,only with the world and not with the people around.

I dont kno about the catlyst that triggered this eerie feeling inside me. Some vast emptiness;a deep melancholy;though everything appeared to be in order something was missing..Perhaps an idea,a notion..I lacked a purpose,a reason.There was effect but i never could understand why the same cause always; and as a loyal fan of the 'matrix' i thot whether it ws the white rabbit..I knew It wasn't but it was gud to imagine myself as Neo trapped in an imaginary world of illusions..!!
Jokes apart this was getting serious. There was something sulky about the whole system. I ws tied down with my job,social setup,religion,parties,ideology and vrythng. I believed and still believe in God and I was unable to find a reason for all this.There was a routine i was supposed to stick to and if i violated it I'd become an outsider.There were dogmas all around prescribed by the society,the religion,the system and if i negated them i'd be isolated and stoned with moral actions and rebuked as an outsider.And strangely i realized;i dint kno what freedom was............

Today when i am standing in the shade of this tree,i really dont remember whether It ws somebody whol told me about this tree or if i had a dream about it.I came to know about this tree in the outskirts of the deceptive city where i was living.I heard that this is a very strange tree and only one of its kind existed in the whole world.I also heard that this tree'd bear a fruit called the "freedom fruit" and no one was supposed to pluck it or eat it and whoever did so would be banished from the city..I heard this and there was this image of a story i learned in my catechism class that came to my mind;of Adam and Eve getting banished from Eden for eating the forbidden fruit of wisdom bcoz of which they lost eternal happiness and immortality and had to come down to earth and had to suffer and die..

This time i dint thik;I knew and I was pretty sure..How'd they kno what happiness is if they dint xperience suffering, how'd they kno how it feels to laugh if they haven't cried,how'd the kno wut forgiveness is,wut hope is,wut belief is if they were to be in an eternal state of static equlibrium inside Eden.How'd they kno wut life is if they dint see death;how'd they kno what peace is, tranquility is,belief is,victory is,joy is and how'd they kno what love is.Life at Eden cannot be happy coz noone'd ever find out what happiness is.!! I knew God did a wise thing by sending them to earth.It was their greatest gift, the biggest blessing...Life..,to live and die,to hope and pray,to believe and love,to understand the meaning of life through everything...There was no looking back..I had decided..

... And thus i started my joureny towards the Freedom Tree..

to be continued
eric

cogito ergo sum

I never thought I’d make this. I mean for the past 1 year I was in the process of blogging which literally accounted as a ‘virtual’ activity. The blog never materialized. I churned out so many topics in my mind; philosophy, politics, music, religion and so on. But never would I come up with something that I was confident of putting up on a platform where a million people are posting a billion articles everyday. Some time back (a few weeks to be precise) I realized that there was something that was pulling me back from writing or rather posting on a public board. There was some kind of inertia that’d always push me through the first few lines of something and then take my hands completely off from the keyboard and firmly grip it on the mouse. I’d always end up browsing through the same pages of some friends’ portal or simply google around for the weirdest stuff possible.

I badly wanted to find out why the hell ? and slowly I realized that there was a fear. A silent apprehension that whispered into my ears that people are going to read these and what if they find it boring, jaded, rhetorical and all those adverbs that’d classify my lines as unreadable. Defining the fear that lurked through was the most difficult task and a greek story from the beginning of the civilization told me that fear can be killed only by doing what I fear.

And hence here I am. This is not supposed to be a writing of verbal dexterity that’d take the readers to higher realms of literary delight. I no longer care what others think of this. I don’t even give a damn whether people read this or not. I am just extirpating my fear..

The mirror’s broke, the shadows are escaping, the facades have cracked and I am no longer afraid. I think, I exist and I am.

cogito ergo sum
eric..